Cat Songs, part 2

"Be a Good Host, O Human" by Socrates (the Second)
for all my fans at thecatbrothers.blogspot.com,
with a bow to Morris.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I'll sit on your lap but prefer a chair.
A chair is more comfortable than anywhere.
Isn't that so? That is so.
Isn't that so? That is so.
Isn't that so? That is so.

A chair with a cushion is fine and fair
Here and there and everywhere.
Isn't that so? That is so.
Isn't that so? That is so.
Isn't that so? That is so.

Set me down and pet me in the chair.
A chair is more comfortable than anywhere.
Isn't that so? That is so.
Isn't that so? That is so.
Isn't that so? That is so.

Cat Songs, part 2

"Be a Good Host, O Human" by Socrates (the Second)
for all my fans at thecatbrothers.blogspot.com,
with a bow to Morris.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I'll sit on your lap but prefer a chair.
A chair is more comfortable than anywhere.
Isn't that so? That is so.
Isn't that so? That is so.
Isn't that so? That is so.

A chair with a cushion is fine and fair
Here and there and everywhere.
Isn't that so? That is so.
Isn't that so? That is so.
Isn't that so? That is so.

Set me down and pet me in the chair.
A chair is more comfortable than anywhere.
Isn't that so? That is so.
Isn't that so? That is so.
Isn't that so? That is so.

Cat Songs, Part 1

"Life Philosophy" by Socrates (the Second)
for all my fans at thecatbrothers.blogspot.com,
with a bow to Morris.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

i gotta go and get it, gotta go and get
a lidda bidda dis, and a lidda bidda dat!
a lidda bidda dis, and a lidda bidda dat!
a lidda bidda dis, and a lidda bidda dat!

gotta go and find it, gotta sniff it
a lidda bidda dis, and a lidda bidda dat!
a lidda bidda dis, and a lidda bidda dat!
a lidda bidda dis, and a lidda bidda dat!

do what i wanna do when i wanna do it!
a lidda bidda dis, and a lidda bidda dat!
a lidda bidda dis, and a lidda bidda dat!
a lidda bidda dis, and a lidda bidda dat!

kitty cat, kitty cat, gonna catch a rat!
a lidda bidda dis, and a lidda bidda dat!
a lidda bidda dis, and a lidda bidda dat!
a lidda bidda dis, and a lidda bidda dat!

Filbert Gets Comfy

Filbert feels comfortable in his new home

Filbert was always the suspicious one, worried that we were just going to fatten up his brother and him and eat 'em. There was some basis for this concern. We cook often instead of going out, and he could smell the aroma of beef, fish, chicken and other delectable dishes.

In time, with plenty of petting, Filbert came around. He decided that we had other purposes. He didn't know what our motives were, but perhaps in time he would sort us out. He made himself comfortable around the house. If we were intent upon being their servants, then Filbert felt he could handle that.

Our Cats and their Friends, the Birds

From the windowsill, Filbert and Socrates chatter with excitement as they watch their feathered friends peck at sunflower seeds. Our cats are always on the lookout for an open door to make their great escape into the outdoors. They expect to meet up with their good friends, the birds, and have a cup of coffee while discussing the state of the world.

One day, Mr. Squirrel made a surprise visit, scaring the birds away. Our most argumentative cat, Socrates, said, "How very rude. I don't think you even had an invitation to the party." Mr. Squirrel responded, "Quite the contrary. I was invited at the last minute. The Blue Jay put me on the guest list." This didn't quite settle the matter, and a lengthy dispute ensued.

Another time, the neighbor's dog visited our deck. The fur rose up on the cats' tails. "There ought to be a law," Filbert told me, "especially a law against a big ugly dog walking on our deck!" Socrates nodded in approval.

"But there is," I replied. "It's called trespassing. But I don't really mind if the neighbor's pets visit us once in a while. Do you?"

Cats have firm beliefs about private property rights and a rather strict interpretation of the law. I'm afraid that if they took over, my liberal views would not survive the new regime.

Settling into Their New Home

The brothers adjust to the new regime.


We decided to cede the entire garage to the brothers. The garage is the one place in our house where neatness is left to the four winds. The cats were welcome to tear the garage a new one if they so desired. Just let cats be cats, and there is likely to be less friction between humans and cats. However, on occasion we do allow them into the rest of the house, but this is understood as a privilege, and can be revoked upon any display of bad behavior, like eating an orchid or smashing a bird egg. (We have a basket full of hollowed out bird eggs. More on that later.) The revocation of privileges suffices as punishment for any bad behavior, instead of corporal punishment. Cats respond well to voice signals and know when something is considered "bad," but that is no guarantee they won't do it. Every cat is a juvenile delinquent at heart. Only dogs give a fig about obeying the rules. Cats are into crime big-time.

Why not let the cats wander around outside? Well, that was my policy with my previous cat, the beloved Burlington, a very intelligent cat that was mugged by a neighborhood stray, contracted feline leukemia and feline HIV and died. I witnessed the mugging incident and it was enough to persuade me to leave my cat indoors. Not every area may be as risky as mine. I remember when I lived in another state, I left my cats outdoors all the time and they didn't seem to come to any harm. It really depends on the prevalence of feline disease in your location. If you live in an area where a sizable percentage of owners don't bother getting shots for their pets, that will present a risk to your pets. I don't like the idea of anything happening to our "family members," the cats, and therefore keep them inside. However, cats prefer the great outdoors and arguably this isn't fair to them. It's a trade-off for their safety and my peace of mind.

Maybe in the future, humans will be the pets, and cats will be the ones making decisions as to whether we stay outside or remain indoors.

Taking the Little Darlings Home for the First Time

Socrates on the left, Filbert on the right. Click to enlarge.


One day I was getting bored at work and thought to myself that what I need in life is a pet. Another beautiful creature to romp around my home besides my boyfriend and me. I decided to get a dog. But then upon reflecting on the canine species and on my boyfriend, I knew that a dog wouldn't work. My boyfriend collects fine china, and dogs just aren't compatible with breakable objets d'art. Not only that, but there are a number of high-priced orchids about the place. Dogs get hungry sometimes, let's just leave it at that. So I called up my boyfriend and suggested we get a dog. Bear in mind, this was a tactical ploy. He said he would think about it, and I said ok and went about my work until the end of the day. When I came home, he had a prepared argument as to why we should not get a dog. I smiled after the first few sentences out of his mouth, and said, "Okay! How about a cat, then?" He seemed relieved and almost immediately agreed. This is called using psychology.

I went to the local Animal Shelter, because I wanted to adopt a stray and save it from being put to death. I don't care much about breeds. There's a whole political argument in there somewhere, but this isn't a political blog, and you know what I say? To each his own. I'm sure that if I were the owner of a cat with a pedigree, I'd feel differently. But there is a respectable scientific argument to be made for mutts. Genetic infirmities persist within breeds. Mutts on the other hand benefit from hybrid vrabbit.

Hats off to the Animal Shelter. They accept inmates from the local prison to work with the animals, which I think is very therapeutic. Nothing could be better for someone in prison than to spend large amounts of time with an animal and learn about affection, trust, and friendship in a safe environment. I wish that all prisons had sections where pets were permitted for those inmates that were capable of affection.

The selection of cats was great, but I was sad to see so many good-looking dogs, many of them doomed to die. I wanted to take one of the dogs home. There were many young and healthy looking dogs that would make a great pet for somebody.

My personal preference in cats is for a quiet, yet intelligent animal. I don't want a crazy cat that is going to raise cane in my house. There's nothing wrong with that, but I lead a more sedate lifestyle myself. There's not a party on every night, you know? By handling a cat, you can tell which ones are calmer and more retiring. I found two cats that were very gentle and seemed to enjoy human company. They did not struggle to escape, but accepted being held, which I thought was a good sign. They also both liked being petted, one in particular, the one on the left in the picture above. The fact that they were both brothers seemed like a guarantee of peace between them.